:: this post is part of the ‘hope’ series. it includes bits + pieces of my journey with depression, anxiety + insomnia with the hope that it will illuminate, expose, + help ::
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Throughout this series + on this space I’ve wanted to stay honest when it comes to this particular journey I’m walking. And so, I thought I’d fill you in about the psychologist’s appointment I had yesterday; my first for 2013.
My appointments last year were weekly for about 6 or so weeks, to monthly, to then every couple of months as I was getting better. The last couple of appointments I had to take the same questionnaire I did at my very first doctor’s appointment – this was to gauge what my ‘levels’ were when it came to depression + anxiety. Over the months, these levels have slowly been dropping.
Yesterday when I took the test, for the first time it was well in the ‘normal range’. Most of the symptoms I originally had are no longer existent or present in my life. Big woo!
Because of this, I’m now on the journey of becoming anti-depressant free.
I’ve been on them for 7ish months + never intended nor wanted to be on them for even a year.
They aren’t my lifesaver.
They aren’t something I want to become dependent upon to help me function.
They were always a tool to be used to help me become motivated to change my behaviour + re-route the chemicals in my brain.
And apparently they’re working.
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:: how? ::
Remember how in one of my previous posts I was saying I’ve decided to Read, Write, + Run/Walk everyday? Well, it’s because of those three things that I am now allowed to begin getting off the tablets – they’re a key influencer in my progress + are having some amazing effects.
See, these three things give natural highs + make life more enjoyable. There’s a reason doctors + health professionals always recommend taking a walk or run outside (note: ‘outside’, not a gym session. You need the open space, breeze, + sunshine) – they release ‘happy endorphins’ that truly benefit your wellbeing.
Over the next month as I’m reducing my anti-dep dose, I have to step up my activity in the reading, writing, + running zones. Going off the tablets means I may not be as motivated to do those things, which is why it’s even more important to do them.
:: next steps ::
Another appointment with my doctor to see how I’m tracking + when I can stop taking the tablets altogether.
A final review appointment with my psychologist in a couple of months – by then I’ll be completely ‘drug-free’.
Continue looking after myself + getting better + better!
:: why am I off the tablets so fast? ::
It’s not because I wasn’t as depressed as other people. Going by my symptoms + the scores from the very first tests I did, I was in the very high range. Each person expresses their brokenness + sickness in different ways, but we are all supposed to live in such a way that looks after our mind, body, spirit, + heart. When those things are in balance + healthy, life is better + altogether enjoyable; the way life was supposed to be lived.
:: what’s next? ::
This series is by no means over. There’s still a couple more posts I’d like to put on here – practical steps I’ve taken in daily activities, food, + more.
If there’s anything you have questions about, would like to ask or have covered in any of these posts, please please please let me know – I’d be thrilled! Feel free to shoot me an email at hello@bybethanyjae.com // tweet @bethanyjae // or send a message on the Facebook Page.
Hope these posts have been somewhat insightful thus far!! Enjoy this beautiful, beautiful day…
Much love, Bethany x
