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“Be a lamp, a lifeboat or a ladder, help someones’s soul heal” - Rumi
Dear friend,
There’s someone in your world right now who needs you. You may think they need your advice + help, but lovely, they simply need your love.
When someone lets you peer into a crack in their soul, don’t tell them there’s “no way you can be depressed!” or there’s people who have gone through hell + yet still manage to smile. Some of the world’s greatest comedians made the audience laugh with joy, + yet are plagued with darkness.
Outward appearances can be fleeting + we judge an outfit by how it looks on a mannequin.
But a gem I’ve discovered on this journey is that just because someone looks “together” + “perfectly wrapped”, it doesn’t mean the present inside is still in tact.
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When your loved one tells you they’re going to the doctor, smile + encourage. Refuse to let the pride of your beliefs echo through to your words. Words cut deep. When someone is fragile, confused, + overwhelmed, the best thing you can do is to use your words + actions to love them back to wholeness.
Something I hope you’ll come to understand is that depression + anxiety isn’t something you can simply “get out of” or “snap out of”; it’s a thought pattern.
If they tell you they’re going to see a counsellor, psychologist or psychiatrist… cheer them on. Tell them how proud of them you are. Any person going there is brave.
Why?
Because they’re getting to the nitty gritty of how + why they got depressed. No-one feels sad or overwhelmed for no good reason – there’s always a reason. And if they don’t get to the nitty gritty + see the path they walked that led them to where they are, it’s almost inevitable that they’ll go down that same path in the future because they failed to change their habits + ways.
I know did. You’ve read my story about how I became depressed twice. But since getting the help I needed through a doctor, psychologist, dealing with my “stuff”, + surrounding myself with hilarious friends… I’m walking a new path.
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Truly, the best thing you can do is simply support. The person is already fragile, so seek to empower + build where possible.
Take them out to coffee, give them a call, send them encouraging text messages, message them something utterly stupid that will make them giggle, stick close to them, tell them you’re proud of them, + whatever decisions they make – cheer them on.
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Above all, always remember that the greatest impacts + breakthroughs made are when love is at the center.
Spread beautiful words. Comforting smiles. And simply love for no other reason than that human beings are valuable + love is what changes, embraces, moulds, + heals lives.
It’s not your job to save, but it is your responsibility to love.
Much love,
Bethany x
